In transition, always a work in progress

Have you ever been in transition? Temporarily hanging out (or sometimes it feels more like dangling) somewhere on your way to something or somewhere new. I'm there right now, in transition.

God not only closed a door for me recently. He slammed it shut and locked it. This forced me into my current state of transition. I knew I needed to walk through the door but sometimes God has to shove me through the door.

So, now here I am hanging out in the hallway. The door is locked so I can't reenter. Where do I go? Do I go nowhere and just wait for something to happen? Do I move somewhere temporarily and wait for the next step?

Well, I'm not one to go nowhere. I'm a planner, a doer, a list maker and a list checker. But, it's hard to be the "doer me" when I'm not clear on the direction. God keeps telling me to not give up and to give it time. My natural instinct is to ask - "How long do I have to wait," and "Just how much time are we talking about here?" But, I know from past transitions that God does not work that way. I'm getting better at that realization because you see I've been here many times before. God is trying to teach me something and I trust that His lesson will lead me to somewhere I would never have ventured on my own.

I feel like the character in the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You'll Go. When I first learned I was in transition my perspective was not bright and cheery. I actually wanted to sit in my closet and not come out.
The line in the book was fitting:

Un-slumping yourself is not easily done." The first step was definitely un-slumping myself. That took about a week. Remember, we are all a work in progress.


Someone said to me, "Your smart, you will figure it out." Well, I was feeling sorry for myself for a few days and I didn't want to be smart, I didn't want to figure it out. I wanted it to go away.  But the words in the book were true,...

Then I decided I couldn't stand still.

Life sure is a balancing act. I'm moving forward along with some great people who are willing to travel in this adventure with me. We don't know where it will lead us, but we can not stand still. We're off to great places.

It definitely feels like a mountain. But, we are willing to climb it.

I love this Dr. Seuss book, it can apply to all of our lives. My sister gave it to me for my high school graduation and I pull it out often and look through the colorful pages.

We are all off to great places. Life is one grand adventure!

Grace and Peace,
Misty

Giving my boys roots and wings

My husband and I have always made it our goal to give our boys both roots and wings. We think it's important to ground them in faith, family and friends so they always know who they are and whose they are. It's also important to let them fly on their own when the time is right.

Today the time came for our oldest son to spread his wings. He left this morning for a seven day trip to Europe with a small group from our church. The program he is attending is called SLU, Student Leadership University. It's a progressive program that began in Orlando, DC last year and this year it concludes in Paris, Normandy, Oxford and London. Student Leadership University's mission is to develop and equip student leaders to Think, Dream, and Lead. The goal is "to instill future tense thinking; character-driven decision making; ownership of biblical values; and a commitment to influence through service."

He attended SLU 101 when he was 14 and entering his freshman year and has been saving for SLU 301 since he returned from 101 two years ago. I say this to explain that this program "anchored" him. The program spoke to him and he made it a goal to continue the journey knowing he would be 90% financially responsible for it. He worked odd jobs for friends and family and saved birthday and Christmas money. Family members also contributed to the SLU fund.

SLU 101 came at a time when he needed direction and guidance, and my husband and I are grateful for his experiences.T oday when we took him to the airport, he suddenly seemed so much older and more mature. I have the deep sense that this journey will change him even more. My mom intuition is telling me this will be life changing for my oldest son. My husband and I have not traveled "across the pond" and we are excited Bryce has this opportunity to be the first in our immediate family to have this experience. We have no idea what he will see and learn and can not wait to watch the transformation upon his return.

If you asked me a few years ago if I would let any of my children travel out of the country without me I would have said no. God has been working on me too during the time my son has been saving for this journey. He has been preparing me for this day. I know that because I was not nervous or sad this morning. I was excited, proud and hopeful.

The parenthood journey is harder than I ever expected. It has its shares of extreme highs and extreme lows and we have made mistakes along the way. But, it is also so very rewarding. Seeing your children grow and mature and take big life steps is so much fun. I know we are far from over in this parenting journey. Today was a special one and I plan to store it in my memory bank and draw on it when I am discouraged as I know he has many hard lessons ahead to learn.

So, for now while he flies through the night to reach London in the morning, I will rest easy knowing that he is ready for this journey for ,"when the root is deep, there is no reason to fear the wind."

Grace and Peace,
Misty

God Always Has a Plan

All three of my boys attend Briarcrest Christian School and our school family was hit by a devastating tragedy early yesterday morning. A group of four rising seniors and a grandmother were headed to the beach to celebrate one of the girl's birthdays when a drunk driver hit their car and took the life of two of the girls.

While I did not know the two who were taken from us personally, my oldest did and my middle son is a classmate of one of their siblings. Our school is small and this tragedy was felt by all. From a mother's perspective, I can not imagine the loss, the pain, the hole that must be in their hearts.

I do not know a lot of things. I do not know why they were taken so young, I do not know why the drunk driver had four previous DUI's and was still on the road, I do not know why any parent has to experience the loss of a child. But, I do know that God is in control. God has a plan for all of our lives.

We will not always understand or agree with the plan. But it is His plan and it works for the good of those who love Him. When we have fulfilled His plan for our life he promises us a much better place than what we experience on this earth. "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."Revelation 21:4

Rachel's dad spoke at the end of the memorial service today and he asked all of the current and former BCS students to stand. He asked them to live this day forward to honor their best lives. To make sense of the loss of two of their own, to honor life moving forward. 

That is my wish for my BCS family, to honor their memory, to lift each other up, to support one another. To live to fulfill God's purpose for their lives.

At the end of the prayer vigil, students released balloons for the girls. Green and gold are the school colors and the green and gold balloons were tied together. Notice how many of the other colored balloons were whisked away quickly? Then the others dissipated. Two yellow balloons lingered a minute, they were separated from the others and did not fly away immediately.

Fly high Rachel and Maddie. Stay grounded BCS students, keep reaching to do your best every day, lift one another up in honor of your classmates and in Jesus name.

"What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up."1 Corinthians 14:26

"So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual up building." Romans 14:19 

Grace and Peace,
Misty

Turning endings into beginnings, choosing to focus on the new

We are in the thick of the month of May. The crazy month for moms with end of the school year activities. I always looked at May as a time of year for endings. The ending of a school year, the end of middle school, the end of elementary school; things coming to an end for my boys in their various stages of life. In the past, I cried at these endings and fixated on them. Funny thing is I'm not a crier. It takes a lot for me to cry, but May always brought me to tears- ugly tears.

This year, I am choosing to see it as a time for beginnings. The beginning of high school for my middle son. The beginning of Junior year for my oldest and the beginning of 2nd grade for my youngest. Instead of focusing on the ending,  I am choosing to focus on the opportunities that lie ahead for my boys.

I'm channeling the years of experience that I've gained from parenting my oldest, watching my mom friends with older children and asking advice from these moms and using it launching forward to new beginnings.This doesn't mean I didn't shed tears at the slide show during 8th grade graduation last week because I did when I saw pictures of my son and his classmates. But, it wasn't because I was sad middle school was ending. Every other year, I cried like a baby at these events. I was upset because I focused on the finality of the moment instead of the joy.  Choosing to focus on their achievements, their growth, the future possibilities is much more productive.

There are two years ahead of my oldest in high school, four for my middle and 11 for my youngest. I'm excited about these years and the possibility for growth and new experiences. Thinking about them while munching on chocolate donut holes makes the beginnings a little sweeter!

Grace and Peace,
Misty

Living in the moment

I'm learning to live in the moment. Life is a string of moments. Events have put that in perspective for me. I used to think if I could get through the tough parts then I could enjoy life.

I thought if I can get my oldest through his teen years, peer pressure ( which is so much bigger than when I was a teen- that's another blog topic) driving, exams- if I can get through this work day, this customer who I will never satisfy- if I can get my mother in law through this round of chemo, if I can get my dad through surgery....

Instead of worrying about the ifs, I'm taking each moment. Enjoying my boys' laughter, their quirky sense of humor, my oldest son's dimple, my middle son's silly jokes, my youngest son's hugs, the sun shining in my car, my dog's kisses, my husband's positive approach to our challenges, my dad's spirit as he asks all of his nurses to dance.

God gives us these moments. It's up to us to embrace them. I'm soaking them all in like today's sunshine. It's ok that I'm not outside in the sunshine because I can see it out the window. I can feel it's warmth on my cheek. 

I don't have to wait for the ifs. Instead, I choose to embrace the now. I hope you embrace the now, the moments, the dance. "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again. Rejoice" Philippians 4:4.

Grace and Peace, 

Misty

In the end, only kindness matters....

Loss often puts life in perspective and makes your lens clearer. I recently lost my uncle. He's an uncle I grew up with like a brother or a cousin because he was only two years older than me. Life, family, the years kept us from seeing each other much but I always loved him, thought of him and prayed for his family.

He was always kind. That was the first thing I thought of when I heard the news. No matter what his circumstances were, what battles he was fighting; he was kind. He always wanted to know how I was doing and asked about my boys. His words were genuine and sincere.

The Jewel song "Hands" keeps playing over and over again in my head.

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith

It goes on but the verse that sticks out is - In the end only kindness matters

Mother Teresa once said.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

She also said: 

Life is truly simple, it boils down to choices. Kindness is a choice. Joe chose kindness and that is how I choose to remember him- a kind soul. Choosing kindness is not always easy but it is always the right thing to do. Thank you Uncle Joe for one final lesson. I plan to choose kindness today and every day. When I falter, as I know I will, I will think of you. We are all in this together and only kindness matters....

Grace and Peace, 

Misty

God's Timing is Perfect....

As I have posted before, I believe in the importance of prayer. But, to dig deeper, I have learned that prayer is so much more powerful when it is specific and comes from a sincere heart. Like most things, I learned this the hard way. While I am fiercely loyal and dedicated to the people and causes I believe in, the flip side is I am stubborn and hard headed. A former co-worker often told me to be specific in prayer and to ask God for exactly what I wanted. She would also remind me that unanswered prayer is also an answer and all things work in God's timing.

So, I finally decided to try out this "specific prayer thing" my co-worker had been talking about. It was during a transitional period and a valley in our life. After a year of transition, we were financially, emotionally and spiritually drained.

But, when we looked back, we had our greatest spiritual growth as a couple and a family during this year. We also started consistently tithing. The Bible says, "Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it." Malachi 3:10. I had heard for years about tithing and that God would reward you but didn't trust it. We started to tithe, it wasn't much and we did not have it to spare. But, we were amazed how God fulfilled the promise he made in Malachi. We received random checks in the mail from insurance companies, doctor offices, the pest control company, etc. It was for overpayment of things we never knew we had "overpaid." 

I write this not to try to convince you to tithe but to tell you how God has worked in my life. How I struggled with the word and with my own faith. But, when I started to trust completely and follow His word, amazing things started to happen. After God turned our life upside down, shook us into awareness, and taught us many lessons, things started to turn around.

When we felt led to enroll our oldest in a private Christian middle school, I began searching for a full time job. Our church had a prayer request form you could drop in the offering. I often looked at it but never used it. I thought, "Who reads these?" "Do they really pray for your requests?" But, I decided to give it a try. It was the first time I had written down a prayer request and the first time I had been specific in my request. I asked for God to lead me to the right job that would benefit the family allowing me to earn enough money to cover our needs and to give me time at home with my boys.

A few days later we received the note below from the pastor with a check for $200.00. This was the exact amount of money we were short for the upcoming mortgage payment. I did not ask for money, I asked for a job. But, God knew we needed that money. I have kept the note on my refrigerator for five years as a reminder that God knows what we need and provides it to us in His timing.

 A few months later God led me to the job that answered my prayers. It was a job that was never in my plan and when I've had a long day I sometimes question why I am there. Then, I come home and see the note on the fridge and I am humbled and grateful that God's plan far exceeds my plans.

Sometimes He answers prayers immediately (when His timing is immediate), and sometimes it takes months and years for a prayer to be answered (because that is the time He intended). He always answers them in His perfect way. Just because they are not answered the way we want them to be answered does not mean they are not answered. You have to give it completely to Him and trust that He will work for your good. You might want to consider the "specific prayer thing." I promise it will surprise and amaze you in ways you never thought possible.

Grace and Peace,
Misty

Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything....

Today was a snow day for my family. It was a school holiday for my boys because of President's Day but it was also a snow day. In the south we don't get very many snow days but when we do ,we celebrate. It's a day to not worry about work, school or sports. We can just hang out in our PJ's all day, drink hot chocolate, bake cookies and be together.  I love snow days!

The weather today was more icy than snowy and it reminded me of icy weather we had nine years ago. I had a business trip to Miami that could not be rescheduled and needed to get to the airport. My husband picked up my co-worker and drove us to the airport. I remember being nervous about the roads on the ride but not anxious about the flight.

We boarded the plane but we were stuck on the tarmac for over an hour. I wasn't a nervous flier. I had been flying all over the country for work and was in seven cities in four days two weeks prior to this flight. But, sitting on that plane that day overwhelmed me. I allowed fear to take over.

Eventually we were let off the plane and loaded onto another flight a few hours later. Since that day, when I fly, I have to sit in an aisle seat as close to the front of the plane as possible. My 6' 1" husband has to take the middle seat for my 5'5" self to even think about getting on a plane. My traveling work days are over which means my airline upgrades are also a luxury of the past. So, if we are going to fly anywhere I have to pay extra for the "premium" seats. But, it's the only way I will get on a plane.

While I am still a "freaky flier," I have learned how to manage it. Yes, it can get a little expensive and uncomfortable for my husband but it's a solution. I realized the reason I was anxious about that flight on that cold day nine years ago was I was worrying. Worrying about missing our meeting in Miami, worrying about other work commitments, worrying about once again leaving my boys behind, worrying about Chris making it back home in the weather- just worrying. I worried myself into a panic attack. All that worry did not do anything positive for me or my friend that day, it actually made me develop a fear of flying.

Since that day, I've learned to manage my anxiety by praying when I find myself starting to worry. This picture hangs by the sink in our bathroom and it's the first thing I see each morning as a constant reminder to not worry.

"Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel." Philippians 4:6-7.

This picture and Chris (who is always reminding me if I have time to worry I have time to pray) help keep me focused. Why worry? God always has been and always will be in control. Turn it over to Him and let Him do the worrying. The thing is you have to turn it over to Him and keep it there. You can't give it to Him then take it back to handle yourself. I do that often and I end up right back where I started. It's like being a hamster on a wheel. You can keep running faster but you are going to end up right back where you started- on the wheel going around and around to nowhere.

So, I try my best not to be that hamster when worry creeps in my thoughts. I still give my worries to God and take them back on occasion. But, I am getting better about keeping them with Him because I understand the peace the verse speaks about and I love that feeling. It truly is indescribable and is much better than being anxious and certainly much better than the feeling of being stuck on a plan in an ice storm!

Grace and Peace,
Misty

Faith of a mustard seed is my Bible verse

Grace is my word and Matthew 17:20-21 is my Bible verse, "He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

When this verse first spoke to me I had no idea about the story behind it. A friend simply said, "All it takes is faith as small as a mustard seed and you can do anything." I looked at her like she was crazy and thought she has no idea about the mountains I am facing. But my analytical side won and  I asked "What is a mustard seed and how small is it?" Then, I went to Google to seek images of mustard seeds.

This is what I found- a tiny seed. Then I wondered how big that tiny seed compared to something else, and I found this image:

It is significantly smaller than a penny. If a penny is our least valuable denomination, and if that was all the faith I needed; then surely I could manage that much faith. So, I wrote out that verse and taped it to my desk at home and my desk at work. I placed it where I would see it many times each day. During this time I was struggling to get through each day. I knew God had me where I was for a reason, but I needed something to hang onto. I needed hope, and this verse helped me remember that all I had to do was have a tiny bit of faith and God would bring me through my valley.

Days and months and years passed and I clung to this verse. Eventually, that particular valley was in my rear view mirror, but the verse was still a part of me. I have the same sticky note on my desk today as a constant reminder that so little is required of me.

Years later I read the entire 17th Chapter of Matthew to get more perspective on my verse. I learned that Jesus was talking to the disciples when he said, "you have so little faith." They were trying to cure a boy but gave up too soon. Isn't it comforting to know that even the disciples had too little faith? We all fall down and we all question. I know I question Jesus every day. It doesn't make it right but it does make it real. 

We are all perfectly flawed and we are all in this together. So, if all it takes is faith as small as mustard seed can you imagine what great things could happen if our faith was as great as say, an apple seed?

Grace and Peace,
Misty

Why Grace? Why this blog?

Grace is a word that has been with me my entire life. When I was a young girl attending Catholic school, I loved the hymn Amazing Grace. While I didn't understand the meaning of the words, I loved to sing the hymn.
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.


These are the verses I remember when I was a grade school student, and as I grew, the subsequent verses in the song became more relevant and meaningful.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

With life experiences, I began to realize that God's grace truly is amazing. He offers it to us new each day and expects nothing in return. It is a precious gift.
The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.


I walked though early adult trials. I  faced the challenges of being a single mom of two young boys with a new career that required demanding travel and long hours when my first marriage fell apart. Most nights I would fall into bed so exhausted from a full day, and  I would cry myself to sleep praying to God to give me the strength to make it through another day. Often I would ask God why I had to walk through that valley. What did I do to deserve those circumstances? It was in those dark hours that I clung to Him. He was the life boat that allowed me to get through each day- one day at a time. He became my shield and portion and now that I have walked through that valley I am thankful for the experience as it forced me to trust in Him.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.


As my faith continued to strengthen though my life journey, these verses became clearer. I lost my beloved grandmother, but I knew we would one day meet again. I knew she was dancing in heaven and I was at peace knowing where she was.

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun

I am so thankful that I can freely sing God's praise and share it with my husband, friends, co-workers and three boys! I have learned to give grace to others and most importantly to myself. God has been placing this blog on my heart for awhile and I keep finding excuses to not start it: I'm too busy, it will take too much time, I will share too much information. As a private person by nature the most daunting part is opening myself up to others. But, I have also learned that when God asks something off you it's for a reason. No one may ever read this but I know I'm doing what I've been called to do!

I am by no means perfect and I do not have all of the answers.I am a work in progress as are we all. I am simply a child of God learning as I go. My intent is to share life lessons I have learned, life lessons I am in the progress of learning and ones I hope to learn.
 
So, thank you for visiting.
What is your word? We all have one but we may not know we have one. What word speaks to you?
I would love to know.


Grace and peace,
Misty