Tuesday, March 5, 2019

What my middle son has taught me in 18 years

Today is my middle son's 18th birthday. Once your children become young adults, you start to have perspective on parenting. I'm by no means saying I have it figured out, (I learn something new every day, some good, some not so good) I know I never will have it all figured out, but the years have granted me perspective. I don't know if it's years of experience, the power of life's rear view mirror or just the fact that I'm older and have more life experiences, but milestone birthdays are perfect days to reflect.

God gave me a delightful blue eye, blond hair little boy 18 years ago today. Delightful is the best word to describe baby Drew. He rarely cried, he demanded very little, and was a sweet and peaceful baby. That was great, because his older brother was the more dominant of the duo. All children are different, and as a young parent you quickly learn how to manage different personalities.



 As he grew a little older, he loved to explore, was tenacious, and determined in a quiet way. Pre-teen Drew was even more determined and loyal. He loved soccer and every time he stepped on the field he gave it all he had. Teenager Drew showed us how much he loved God's people. He had a heart for others and reached out to many in his quiet, unique way. My prayer is young adult Drew will continue to have all of these qualities and God will continue to use him.




One story I clearly remembered was when he was two. We had a bake sale at work and I brought home a huge chocolate cake and I gave the boys a piece and later placed in on top of the refrigerator to keep it out of sight while they took their naps. When I went back after their naps to get them up, I found Drew on the kitchen counter covered in chocolate with the biggest grin I have ever seen. To this day I have no idea how he climbed on the counter and got the cake down, he was so quiet, I never heard a sound. That's how he has been most of these 18 years, quietly, tenaciously growing up.


As I was guiding  him, he was also reminding me, showing me. The things I was always telling him, he was soaking them up and just doing them.


  • If you want something, work toward it, set goals, never give up. Fuel your passions. Just like he got that chocolate cake, he has quietly worked toward many goals. I'm still amazed how he raised money for three years to go on a Spring Break mission trip to Brazil. This is actually the first birthday he has spent at home in three years. He never wanted a party, a present; just wanted to do God's work in Brazil. I have not been with him to Brazil; always felt it was his place. The pictures from his time there are gifts to me because I see how much he loves being in Recife. The church leaders tell me how hard he works and truly makes a difference. He never speaks of the work he does, but talks about the friendships and his face lights up when he talks about them. 



  • Always be kind to others, you never know what they are facing. He has the unique ability to know when someone needs a little extra helpHe's mentored underclassman by talking to them, including them, inviting them to join the soccer team. I don't think he even realizes he's doing it. A teacher sent him a card this school year to thank him for how he included others. Parents tell me he has made a difference in the student's life. That's who he is and he gets embarrassed when you mention it to him because he is just being himself. 
  • Be loyal. He is a fierce protector of his younger brother. I have always told all three boys that brothers stick together and Drew takes that to heart. While he can by a typical big brother, pestering and annoying, he has protected Garret from the beginning. I know that was not always easy for him. We are a blended family and not everyone was accepting of a new sibling. But, Drew has the ability to see trough things and loves his little brother. He won't often admit it , but he loves his big brother too. 

Thank you Drew for showing us all through your example. Just a few reminders for you to keep in mind on this next adventure called college.  

1. Keep God first in all you do, lean on him.
2. Be of this world not in this world.
3. Yes, I have always encouraged you to be the light, but remember sometimes people need more help than you can provide. Learn the difference.Your gut will tell you when this happens. Don't let someone drag you down. It is much harder to dig yourself out of a hole. Don't fall down in the hole trying to fix someone. 
4. Brush your teeth, drink lots of water, get some rest
5. Don't wait until the night before a test to study, get help along the way. Remember small steps lead to great accomplishments. Go to class. 
6. Keep your circle of friends small, know who you can trust.
7. Remember this too shall pass, don't sweet the small stuff. Find joy in each day.
8. We are always here for you, no worry is too small no problem is too big. 

And, I know you are probably mad at me for posting this because you hate attention. I'm celebrating you and I'm grateful for all you have taught me in your 18 years. Your family is forever on your side, I am your fiercest supporter. Keep on dancing to the beat of your own unique playlist! Go move those mountains!



Happy Birthday Drew Nicholas. 

Grace and Peace, 
Mom

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