Storms make trees take deeper roots...

I hope you have at least one person in you life who you know you can count on, no matter what. God gave me a life long gift when I was eight years old, the gift of true friendship. I had no idea how important that friendship would become all those years ago when my eight year old self walked up to Kim’s door and introduced myself.

We lived across the street from other and were inseparable; riding our bikes all over the neighborhood, playing kickball, setting up lemonade stands and sharing all of our adventures together.

Although we attended different schools and my family moved across town, we remained friends and our friendship grew stronger as we grew older. The roots were firm and the branches continued to grow, and just like a tree the seasons of our lives changed and shaped us. We planned and celebrated our marriages, and mourned the loss of Kim's mom. Soon, we were pregnant together with our first two children . Kim had girls and I had the boys. When my marriage fell apart, she was the first person I called and when I had a new beginning with a new marriage she drove eight hours, eight months pregnant with her two young daughters to be in the wedding.

Years passed, our children grew and once again the storm started to gain strength. My dad passed away, Kim was there days later right by my side. In the car driving from the church to the graveside, her husband called to tell her he was serving her with divorce papers. We cried together, we got out of the car, and we buried my dad. A month later Kim was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was my turn to stabilize the tree, to be the stronger branch.

In May of 2015 she had her first mastectomy and we had a hospital slumber party. Radiation and chemo followed, which she fought through with grace as a single woman without the support of a husband. I saw her faith really starting to grow.

In between chemo, radiation, work and raising our kids we took time to recharge at our happy place, the beach.

 Life in an apartment was different and as she adjusted to that she enrolled in school in an intensive two year program. As part of her treatment plan surgeries were scheduled for December of 2017 to allow her time to heal over her school holiday break. Then, through a paperwork mishap, her insurance canceled, which was definitely stressful. But, it was part of God’s plan and He showed up BIG and led her to a new group of amazing doctors.

Just when she got into a routine with school after all of her treatments were completed, Hurricane Harvey hit Kingwood, Texas. Kim was alone riding out the storm and was evacuated by the Coast Guard and a dump truck taking only her dog and purse. So, cancer, a move, divorce, surgery, school ( are you following me, five major life changes) and now a natural disaster, a real storm.

Have you read the Book of Job? It’s a small but powerful  book of the Bible. Job was a wealthy man and a just, righteous man. Satan told God Job was only noble because he had been blessed by God and said he worked not be just without God’s blessings. So, Job was tested. In one day he lost his children, his servants and his livestock. Job still praised God. “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 121:22

The next day his body was inflicted with sores. His wife says to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die. “ He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job continued to praise God through the trials and his wealth was restored and he had more children. “He preforms wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” Job 9:10

Kim, like Job has experienced great loss but through it all she praised God. Today she went home from the hospital after second prophylactic mastectomy followed by bilateral reconstruction with a DIEP flap. along with some other major things. I spent four days with her in the hospital and never once did she feel sorry for herself, or complain. Her body was traumatized but her spirit was strong and unwavering.

I have no doubt God has great plans for Kim's life and look forward to watching it unfold by her side, cheering her forward. When one branch is weak, the other offers support. Through the changing seasons the tree only grows stronger.

Grace and Peace,
Misty

Dear Donna, I miss you....

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my mother in law's journey home to heaven. The weeks after she left were filled with cleaning and selling her home and lots of details. It was stressful and exhausting and I did not allow myself the time to grieve. The year kept flying by with getting the boys into school, all of the Senior Year activities, prepping for college and getting back to work and a "normal" routine.

I don't think I have fully processed it yet, it was only nine months after my dad went home. I was focused on the to do lists. I'm sure it will eventually catch up with me. That's the one thing I have learned, grief is a nasty, sneaky beast.

 What I do know is I miss her and I still can not believe she is gone. Donna was a tiny person in stature but she had a BIG presence. Everyone who knew her loved her and she loved everyone that much more. That was who she was; a kind, giving soul.

Dear Donna,

I miss you. I miss your smile, your laugh, your big hugs, your love for Christopher and our boys. I miss your treats. You always had treats. You displayed Little Debbies in your kitchen and tucked them in your purse. Garret's favorite were the ginger bread men. Bryce and Drew loved the special Valentine's and Easter Dunkin Donuts you delivered each holiday.

I miss the thoughtful way you gave gifts, especially at Christmas. One of your greatest joys was gift giving and you always gave the most perfect gifts. I miss your dressing, it was the best and I can not duplicate it. I miss your chocolate pie and deviled eggs. I'm trying my best to perfect the chocolate pie, but it will never be as good as yours. Thank you for passing along the recipe, it's a treasure because we have it in your handwriting. I miss seeing you around all of the holidays in your holiday shirts and accessories.

While I miss all of these things I am also remembering. I remember how we were caught in a huge rainstorm in Orlando on our Disney trip and we laughed all the way running to the car. It's was the only time I ever saw your hair flat. I remember you on the big swing ride at the Delta Fair. You were laughing and dangling your feet as you and Garret flew through the air. I remember your red finger nails and toenails and your black Lexus, you loved that car and looked so cute driving it.

I remember the last things you said to the boys. You told Garret to do well in school and sports and do to it all for Jesus, you told Drew to focus on school and to not worry about the ladies, and you told Bryce to go to a good college and make his Mimi proud.

Most of all I want to thank you for the gift of you son, Christopher. He is truly our rock and the boys and I adore him. You raised him to be loyal, hard working and God fearing. He daily leads our family and we navigate life together as a team. I know how much you loved him. Please know we love him fiercely and he's doing well. He misses you but he knows where you are and he will see you again.

So for now, I picture you sitting on a big fluffy cloud, dangling feet with your red painted toenails, clapping your hands and smiling as you look down at us and see us moving forward one day at a time. We love you always.

Grace and Peace,
Misty

An open letter to me when I was 19....

Recently, my best friend sent two pics of me she found in a random box from our college days. From the fashion and hair I'm dating them in early 1990's. Oh the things I wish I could tell the innocent 19 and 20 year old me, things that still apply to today's college students.

Yes I know today's world is much different than it was when I was in college.The hair and the jewelry are not as big and the world is digital and instant.  But the basics are still the same. So, what would the "mom me" tell the "college freshman me" with 27 years of perspective?

1. Trust your gut, if the situation doesn't feel right, walk away, and walk away quickly. Things can change in an instant, do not be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

2. Always have a friend or two you can trust. If you have one friend you can trust, keep that friend. Go to a party with that friend and leave with that friend. Never leave anyone behind. Make a pact and keep it. Do not ever leave anyone behind no matter what they say. Make a plan at the beginning of the night and stick with it.

Trust me on this one, do not leave your friends behind no matter who they are with or what they say. Stick with the plan. If you don't things will happen that you can not explain but you also will never forget.

3. Do not leave your drink unattended- ever. Hold it at all times and if it is out of your sight then just get a new one. It's that simple, the risk is not worth the potential consequences. If money is the problem your one true friend will always understand and I promise your mom will too, just talk to her.

4. Remember you are a work in progress, the freedom is great but you are just beginning. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are learning. Never forget who you and whose you are. Stay in touch with the people who have always believed in you and hold to tight to what you believe.

As my first born son heads to college in a few weeks I hope he remembers these four things. They are simple and basic and my years put them in crystal clear perspective.

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:12-13

Grace and Peace, 
Misty 

When you are "fatherless", Father's Day is tough....

I'm a fatherless daughter. The reality of that hit me smack in the face early in the morning of November 18, 2015, it was less than 24 hours after I turned 45. My baby brother called me while he walked in the rehab facility where my dad was and we both heard the nurse say he was gone.  God called my dad home in the early morning hours afters after my birthday.

Thanks to my little brother, my dad called me that morning. He greeted me with all the energy he could surmise and he said, as he did for every birthday I can remember, "Happy Birthday Tina Marie!" Those were the last words I would hear from him and I'm grateful I heard them.

So, Father's Day, the week leading up to Father's Day, the card aisle at Walgreens, the TV commercials, I hate them. To put it bluntly, they suck. Father's Day is tough and I know I am not alone.

Some of you don't know your dad at all. Others have a toxic relationship with your dad. Maybe you feel abandoned that he left when you were young. Some are experiencing their first Father's Day as a "fatherless" daughter or son. Maybe it's the 10th Father's Day you are spending without your dad. Or, perhaps you haven't talked to your dad for years for reasons you can't even remember. It all adds up to the fact that it's a lonely day, a sad day, and a day to endure.

This is my second "fatherless" Father's Day and it's not as painful as last year. I don't know why. As I have said before, grief is a nasty beast. You never know when it will attack. Last year, I could not walk down the card aisle at Walgreens; it literally knocked the breath right out of me. This year has not been as bad. Thursday was hard, I was "out of sorts." You know the feeling, nothing seems right. Then I remembered it was the Father's Day week, and nothing would ever feel "normal" again. After a loss, you are different.

I have remembered a lot today. He did everything BIG, he was bigger than life. I remember his smile, his laugh, his love for his children and grandchildren, his love for his mom and brothers and sisters, his love of good food and a cold drink. But mostly God has reminded me that he is my Father. He was my first Father and my forever Father. He will never leave or forsake me. I love this Bible verse, it's a great reminder.

God will never leave you, abandon you or forsake you. He is the greatest

Father you could ever have. If you too are feeling lonely today, I encourage you to talk to your Father. He is waiting. He is there. All you have to do is say hello, He knows your voice. He knows your pain, He will heal your broken heart.

Happy Father's Day in heaven Pops. You will forever live in our home and in our hearts. I can not imagine the celebration you are having with your heavenly Father and your dad today. Thank you for loving us BIG!!!!

#luvlivebig

Grace and Peace, 

Misty