Small steps add up to big accomplishments, keep on keepin' on

2020 has been a big, hot mess. The world is upside down and it's been a stressful year. But, don't stop achieving your goals, dreaming your dreams and moving forward. 

Eight years ago I had a goal to get in shape and create an exercise routine. I wanted to get in a daily routine because I knew if I formed a habit I would have better success. At the time that seemed impossible because I had three boys at home and worked full time managing my business. Life was busy.

So, like a lot of people do I made a New Year's resolution to work out more. I tried Pure Barre and it was the hardest yet best work out I had ever done. My long time friends know my love for ballet and the many years I dedicated to the art. I never found anything I loved as much as ballet but when I discovered Pure Barre I finally found I work out I loved again.

I made time for me, made an appointment for myself every week day morning at 8:30 and I held firmly to that time. Once I realized the mental and physical benefits Pure Barre gave me I knew it was ok to be "selfish" to give myself time each day because it always made my days better and it was also better for those around me too. It changed my outlook and gave me much more energy. 

I started with class three days a week and eventually increased it to 4-5 days per week. After I hit my 100 class mark I decided I was going to keep going. I wanted to get to 1,000! So I did life and kept taking classes, it became a part of my daily life. And, life sure happened along the way. We walked though the illness and passing of two parents, moving a business, and 2 boys graduating high school and moving to college. But all of this was more manageable because I had my time at the barre. 

And, oh the ladies I have met along the way! They are the most fantastic ladies, all in different phases of life facing different challenges. God placed some amazing women in my life every morning, they have each taught me something new. The best advice I ever received was to find at least one friend 10 years younger than you ( they can keep your outlook updated ) and one friend 10 years older than you (they have perspective to share). I see those friends every morning in my class, how awesome is that?!

So, eight years later, I achieved my 1,000 class goal today. That equates to 830 hours of total body work outs and over 25 hours of holding a plank. To me it equates to a goal achieved, and a reminder that no matter how long it takes to get there, achieving goals is a great feeling. Never stop setting goals and always keep on keep'n on. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will look up and you have crushed the goal! 

Was it easy to accomplish this? No, it took time, dedication and persistence. Some mornings I did not want to go, I was exhausted, over scheduled and sore. A lot of times I had clothes in my car to change into for work, I have to plan the night ahead to make sure I can finish my work each day. Often in the beginning (when the weather allowed) I took my dog with me because she was used to going with me to work so she would sit in my car and patiently wait for me to finish class and off we would go. Was it worth it? 100% yes!

How can you do it? I know you can, if I can, you can!

1. Find an exercise you love, don't stop until you find it. You will feel better, look better and communicate better

2. Make time for it, you deserve it 

3. Set a goal

4. Take small steps every day to achieve the goal 

5. While you are working on the goal don't forget to look around you, God will place people in your life along the way, He's amazing like that. 

6. Keep it simple and stick to the routine

"Stand firm, and you will win life." Luke 21:19

"But you, be strong and do not lose courage, for there is reward for your work.”2 Chronicles 15:7

#luvlivebig

Grace and Peace,

Misty

The love of a daddy

The love of a daddy is never forgotten. I miss my dad every day, he's been with Jesus for over four years. Father's Day weekend the past four years has been hard, but this year it's a little easier. I think it's because I'm able to focus on all of the gifts he gave me and my boys. The fog has cleared a little, and I'm seeing all of the the great things he taught us. These things that are so woven in our lives, and I did not have the ability to see they were given to me from him until now. I've always said that grief is a nasty beast, we can not control it. But I have learned that we can live through it.

Thank you dad, for being you. He was a big influence in my life from the beginning. When I was little I remember his big laugh, he had a big presence in a room. He filled it with love the minute he walked in a room. Wow, look how young he was when I was born, a baby himself.

Thank you dad for teaching me to make the most of every day. He was loyal and and hard working and taught me to appreciate the little things along the way. Whenever he could, we would have fun as a family, at the beach or a water park and he was right in the middle playing along with all of us. When he passed away I started using the hashtag #luvlivebig because that is what he did, every day.

Thank you dad for teaching me my love of dance.  He loved to dance and was a fan of Kenny Rodgers, oh how I remember listening to The Gambler on the record player. I think Kenny was the sound track of my youth. He taught me the classic dances and always said that my ballet training would not be enough, I needed to know how to fox trot and waltz and he wanted to be the one to teach me. We would spin around in the den and I will always remember his smile and the laughter.

Thank you dad for giving me my love for the beach. He loved going to the beach every summer and he taught me that sunrises were magical and you could find the best sea treasures in the early morning hours. I would often join him on his early morning walks. He was a quiet soul much like me and we would walk for an hour without speaking along the water's edge picking up treasures along the way. From these walks, I learned that I needed quiet time every morning to best prepare for the day. I still wake up early most mornings while the  house is quiet and enjoy this time. Thank you dad for letting me walk along beside you on those beach mornings, they are some of my favorite memories. 

Thank you dad for your gift with words. He was creative and had a natural gift with words. I also love to write and I am so grateful for all the cards and letters he wrote me over the years. Reading his words mean so much and I love seeing his handwriting, 

Thank you dad for you love of Southern food and BBQ. My favorite was always his gravy and biscuits. He would roll out the home made biscuits with a M, S and T for all of his kids and his gravy was the very best. Breakfast will always be my favorite meal and the one I like to prepare most for my family. When I was out of college and working he still made me a home made breakfast platters to go every morning and when I was living on my own, some mornings I would walk out of my apartment to find a hot plate of gravy and biscuits on my door step with a note. He could BBQ like no other. Every time I smell backyard BBQ I think of him. 

Thank you dad for being the best Pops to my boys. You loved them all BIG and were their biggest fans. Whenever something happens in their lives I want to call you. Then I realize, you already know and I can see your big smile and can hear you telling them Way to go! Your love for them will never fade, it was just so big in life and will never end. 

Happy Father's Day in heaven Pops. Until I see you again I will continue to do my best to honor you each day and we will all keep on keepin' on just like you taught us. #luvlivebig

Grace and Peace, 

Misty 

Valentine's Day- Love one another

Valentine's Day is a few days away and it's a good time to tell the people in our lives how much we love them. I am grateful to share the day with my family but not everyone has a special person or people with whom they can enjoy the day.


This Valentine's will you consider taking a few minutes to make someone feel special, someone who might often be overlooked? We all have a story and we all have battles we fight every day. We never know what someone else is facing or how a kind word, smile or small gift might make a big impact.


A few years ago my neighbor lost her husband to a heart attack. We did not know them that well but we always said hello and waved when we saw them in their yard or on a walk. My heart broke for her when she suddenly lost her husband and found herself alone with two college aged sons.


The first year she was a widow my oldest son took her a bouquet of flowers with a note on Valentine's morning. It was a simple gesture and we just wanted her to know she was loved. God placed her on my heart that year and every year since one of my boys has taken her flowers on Valentine's morning.  I've never told anyone what we did and I have not spoken directly to her about it as we aren't looking for recognition. I'm writing about it now to give you an idea of what you could do for someone.


Do you know a widow, a single mom, the school crossing guard, the school lunch attendant, the cashier at Walgreens who always smiles when you check-out? Who is God placing on your heart today?


It does not have to be expensive or elaborate. A kind word and hug go a long way.


"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34.


Grace and Peace,
Misty

A mama's heart knows...

A mama's heart is unique, it holds great wisdom, it's big and full of love for her children and it knows. It knows when her child needs her, it knows when her child is hurting, it knows when her child has something to celebrate and it also knows when she has to let her child fall down, learn and grow. Some call it intuition, or a gut feeling. I call it my mama's heart.

A mama's heart worries, it hurts, it silently cries for her children. It's unique by design. God gave children moms for very specific reasons and their hearts help them fulfill God's purpose. Luke wrote, “and his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.” – Luke 2:51

God tells us in Proverbs “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” – Proverbs 1:8-9 

My mama heart is hurting right now for other moms. Moms who have lost their children. My heart is broken in a million pieces for them. But yet there is still light among the broken pieces, because in Jesus there is always hope. 

I knew their children and my boys were friends with them. Precious Bailey Purkey was the lifeguard at our summer time pool and graduated high school with Bryce. Her brother Jake, is a good friend of my Drew's. Bailey traveled to Brazil for missions trips with Drew and was involved in youth group with both Bryce and Drew. God called her home at the young age of 21. A beautiful, kind, loving young lady now has a new home in heaven. I'll never understand why she had to suffer with cancer. But,God tells us this world is not our home. We are just passing through and Bailey touched many lives in this world. Maybe God knew it was time for her to fulfill her purpose with Him in heaven.  My mama's heart knows it is beautiful there. But, my heart still hurts for her family because I'm a mom and I can not even begin to imagine the sense of loss and heartbreak they are walking through. 

Clint McCollom was a good friend of my Drew's. Looking back. I realize God knew they needed each other and their paths crossed just two years ago when Drew met Clint his Junior year in high school. They had an instant connection and found solitude from the world at the skate park and driving in Clint's jeep with the top down. They were two young adults trying to figure it out, that age can be tough and they were walking alongside each other as friends. I'll never understand why he lost his life at age 19. Seems like it was just beginning, he was going down a great job path and was having success. From my understanding he had grown closer to Jesus in the days prior to his death. I never thought I would see my 18 year old son walking behind his 19 year old friends casket and help carry it to the hearse and speak at his friend's funeral. Maybe God knew it was a good time to call him home. I will never know why but I'm hanging on to the hope that Clint loved Jesus because I know his sweet family and friends will see him again. 

So, my "whys" will not be answered in this life. But God tells us over and over again in the bible that this world is not our home. 

"But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ," Philippians 3:20

In John 16:33 Jesus says, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” I am taking hope in the knowledge that He has overcome the world and all things work to the good for those who serve Him. 

I have been a new mom, a single mom, a working mom, a stay at home mom, a mom to three children in many of life phases, with the most recent college phase. I have not been a mom grieving the loss of my child. But my mama's heart knows they have a hole in their heart that will not be filled in this life and I will pray for them every day. I am devastated for them yet I see the light because the light is Jesus and in Him there is hope. 

#luvlivebig

Grace and Peace, 
Misty 

What my middle son has taught me in 18 years

Today is my middle son's 18th birthday. Once your children become young adults, you start to have perspective on parenting. I'm by no means saying I have it figured out, (I learn something new every day, some good, some not so good) I know I never will have it all figured out, but the years have granted me perspective. I don't know if it's years of experience, the power of life's rear view mirror or just the fact that I'm older and have more life experiences, but milestone birthdays are perfect days to reflect.

God gave me a delightful blue eye, blond hair little boy 18 years ago today. Delightful is the best word to describe baby Drew. He rarely cried, he demanded very little, and was a sweet and peaceful baby. That was great, because his older brother was the more dominant of the duo. All children are different, and as a young parent you quickly learn how to manage different personalities.

 As he grew a little older, he loved to explore, was tenacious, and determined in a quiet way. Pre-teen Drew was even more determined and loyal. He loved soccer and every time he stepped on the field he gave it all he had. Teenager Drew showed us how much he loved God's people. He had a heart for others and reached out to many in his quiet, unique way. My prayer is young adult Drew will continue to have all of these qualities and God will continue to use him.

One story I clearly remembered was when he was two. We had a bake sale at work and I brought home a huge chocolate cake and I gave the boys a piece and later placed in on top of the refrigerator to keep it out of sight while they took their naps. When I went back after their naps to get them up, I found Drew on the kitchen counter covered in chocolate with the biggest grin I have ever seen. To this day I have no idea how he climbed on the counter and got the cake down, he was so quiet, I never heard a sound. That's how he has been most of these 18 years, quietly, tenaciously growing up.


As I was guiding  him, he was also reminding me, showing me. The things I was always telling him, he was soaking them up and just doing them.

• If you want something, work toward it, set goals, never give up. Fuel your passions. Just like he got that chocolate cake, he has quietly worked toward many goals. I'm still amazed how he raised money for three years to go on a Spring Break mission trip to Brazil. This is actually the first birthday he has spent at home in three years. He never wanted a party, a present; just wanted to do God's work in Brazil. I have not been with him to Brazil; always felt it was his place. The pictures from his time there are gifts to me because I see how much he loves being in Recife. The church leaders tell me how hard he works and truly makes a difference. He never speaks of the work he does, but talks about the friendships and his face lights up when he talks about them. 

• Always be kind to others, you never know what they are facing. He has the unique ability to know when someone needs a little extra help. He's mentored underclassman by talking to them, including them, inviting them to join the soccer team. I don't think he even realizes he's doing it. A teacher sent him a card this school year to thank him for how he included others. Parents tell me he has made a difference in the student's life. That's who he is and he gets embarrassed when you mention it to him because he is just being himself. 
• Be loyal. He is a fierce protector of his younger brother. I have always told all three boys that brothers stick together and Drew takes that to heart. While he can by a typical big brother, pestering and annoying, he has protected Garret from the beginning. I know that was not always easy for him. We are a blended family and not everyone was accepting of a new sibling. But, Drew has the ability to see trough things and loves his little brother. He won't often admit it , but he loves his big brother too. 

Thank you Drew for showing us all through your example. Just a few reminders for you to keep in mind on this next adventure called college.  

1. Keep God first in all you do, lean on him.

2. Be of this world not in this world.

3. Yes, I have always encouraged you to be the light, but remember sometimes people need more help than you can provide. Learn the difference.Your gut will tell you when this happens. Don't let someone drag you down. It is much harder to dig yourself out of a hole. Don't fall down in the hole trying to fix someone. 

4. Brush your teeth, drink lots of water, get some rest

5. Don't wait until the night before a test to study, get help along the way. Remember small steps lead to great accomplishments. Go to class. 

6. Keep your circle of friends small, know who you can trust.

7. Remember this too shall pass, don't sweet the small stuff. Find joy in each day.

8. We are always here for you, no worry is too small no problem is too big. 

And, I know you are probably mad at me for posting this because you hate attention. I'm celebrating you and I'm grateful for all you have taught me in your 18 years. Your family is forever on your side, I am your fiercest supporter. Keep on dancing to the beat of your own unique playlist! Go move those mountains!

Happy Birthday Drew Nicholas. 

Grace and Peace, 

Mom

#luvlivebig

Leading by example, one day at a time

Mother's Day can be hard for many, I understand, I get it. Although some seasons can be harder than others, there is good in all seasons and I hope you can focus on the good moments. I choose to remember the good and be grateful for all the strong women in my life. This Mother's Day is the perfect day to share my Mee-Maw's story. She's my 91 year old grandmother and is the strongest, kindest, wisest woman of faith I have ever known.

Meet Pat Cheshire, known to her many grandchildren and great grandchildren as Mee-Maw.

Her life has not been easy, but through it all this is the smile I always saw, she never looked sad, I have never seen her cry. Her faith is bigger than anyone's I have ever known and I think she has a direct line to heaven. Her prayers are powerful, God listens because she is His faithful servant.

She had 12 children, and through the years she has buried four of them.  My dad was her oldest child. She lost her husband when she was 47 years old, the age I am right now. When she lost her husband, she still had small children living at home. There was not time to worry, she moved to Memphis where my dad was living and opened a day care in her home to support her family. She kept kids in her home for over 20 years. I always remember it was a happy home with babies and toddlers and Mee-Maw in control, loving them all. 

After she "retired" from her daycare she moved into a home right next to her church so she could walk to church each day. She told me she prayed for God to make a home affordable to her that was one level next to church and she would worship Him each day. Unless she is not feeling well or the weather is bad, she is there every morning. She said, "I made a promise, it's that simple." 

In the past year, I started visiting her each week for lunch and those have been my favorite days each week. We sit, we talk, we eat, we just spend time together. In those moments I've been reminded of her Big faith, her Big heart and how Big of a servant she is to the Lord. You see, she never judges, never criticizes, never gives advice unless you ask (and if you ask, it will be the best advice you will ever get because she notices everything and is wise beyond all understanding). I have learned by her example. Recently she told me, "I'm happy, why wouldn't I be happy? I choose to be happy, I could be sad, yes, there are reasons to be sad. But, I choose happy every day. Can't you just see the "happy" in her expression? 

She has lead by example her entire life and her example is what I lean on daily. If Mee-Maw could pick up the pieces of a broken life, start over in a new city, open a business, support a family, live independently, all the while praising and serving God, I too can handle the daily challenges life sends my way. She was a steady force in my childhood. I loved going to her house, and sitting in her lap. It was always a happy place and every Thursday I can not wait to get back to that happy place, to sit with her and talk. She is full of wisdom and is simply a beautiful soul. 

Thank you Mee-Maw for being you, for showing me Jesus in all you do and for your inspiring strength and endurance. I look forward to many more Thursdays with you. #luvlivebig

Grace and Peace, 

Misty 

Storms make trees take deeper roots...

I hope you have at least one person in you life who you know you can count on, no matter what. God gave me a life long gift when I was eight years old, the gift of true friendship. I had no idea how important that friendship would become all those years ago when my eight year old self walked up to Kim’s door and introduced myself.

We lived across the street from other and were inseparable; riding our bikes all over the neighborhood, playing kickball, setting up lemonade stands and sharing all of our adventures together.

Although we attended different schools and my family moved across town, we remained friends and our friendship grew stronger as we grew older. The roots were firm and the branches continued to grow, and just like a tree the seasons of our lives changed and shaped us. We planned and celebrated our marriages, and mourned the loss of Kim's mom. Soon, we were pregnant together with our first two children . Kim had girls and I had the boys. When my marriage fell apart, she was the first person I called and when I had a new beginning with a new marriage she drove eight hours, eight months pregnant with her two young daughters to be in the wedding.

Years passed, our children grew and once again the storm started to gain strength. My dad passed away, Kim was there days later right by my side. In the car driving from the church to the graveside, her husband called to tell her he was serving her with divorce papers. We cried together, we got out of the car, and we buried my dad. A month later Kim was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was my turn to stabilize the tree, to be the stronger branch.

In May of 2015 she had her first mastectomy and we had a hospital slumber party. Radiation and chemo followed, which she fought through with grace as a single woman without the support of a husband. I saw her faith really starting to grow.

In between chemo, radiation, work and raising our kids we took time to recharge at our happy place, the beach.

 Life in an apartment was different and as she adjusted to that she enrolled in school in an intensive two year program. As part of her treatment plan surgeries were scheduled for December of 2017 to allow her time to heal over her school holiday break. Then, through a paperwork mishap, her insurance canceled, which was definitely stressful. But, it was part of God’s plan and He showed up BIG and led her to a new group of amazing doctors.

Just when she got into a routine with school after all of her treatments were completed, Hurricane Harvey hit Kingwood, Texas. Kim was alone riding out the storm and was evacuated by the Coast Guard and a dump truck taking only her dog and purse. So, cancer, a move, divorce, surgery, school ( are you following me, five major life changes) and now a natural disaster, a real storm.

Have you read the Book of Job? It’s a small but powerful  book of the Bible. Job was a wealthy man and a just, righteous man. Satan told God Job was only noble because he had been blessed by God and said he worked not be just without God’s blessings. So, Job was tested. In one day he lost his children, his servants and his livestock. Job still praised God. “Naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 121:22

The next day his body was inflicted with sores. His wife says to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die. “ He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” Job continued to praise God through the trials and his wealth was restored and he had more children. “He preforms wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” Job 9:10

Kim, like Job has experienced great loss but through it all she praised God. Today she went home from the hospital after second prophylactic mastectomy followed by bilateral reconstruction with a DIEP flap. along with some other major things. I spent four days with her in the hospital and never once did she feel sorry for herself, or complain. Her body was traumatized but her spirit was strong and unwavering.

I have no doubt God has great plans for Kim's life and look forward to watching it unfold by her side, cheering her forward. When one branch is weak, the other offers support. Through the changing seasons the tree only grows stronger.

Grace and Peace,
Misty